So, you’ve just met an amazing girl and got her number. Your heart’s racing, and you’re excited about the possibilities. But now what? How do you start texting her without messing things up?
Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered. Here we will walk you through the ins and outs of texting a girl you’ve just met, and help you build a connection and hopefully land that first date.
The First Text: Breaking the Ice
You’re staring at your phone, wondering when and what to text. It’s normal to feel nervous, but remember, she gave you her number for a reason. She’s interested in getting to know you better. Let’s go into the details of making that essential first contact.
When to Send That First Message
As you know, timing is important. You don’t want to seem too eager, but you also don’t want her to forget who you are. Forget the old three-day rule – it’s outdated and can make you seem uninterested. Instead, aim to text within 24 hours of meeting her. It will keep the excitement alive and show you’re genuinely interested.
For example, if you met her on a Saturday night, sending a text on Sunday afternoon or evening is perfect. It’s soon enough that your meeting is still fresh in her mind, but not so quick that you appear overly eager.
Crafting the Perfect Opening Text
Keep it simple and friendly. Remind her who you are and reference something you talked about when you met. Such an approach does two things:
- It jogs her memory of your meeting.
- It shows you were paying attention to your conversation.
Here are some examples:
“Hey Sarah, it’s Mike from the coffee shop. How’s that book you were telling me about? I’m curious to know if the ending is as good as you hoped!”
“Hi Emma! It’s Jake from the gym. I tried that protein shake you recommended – you were right, it’s delicious! Have you discovered any other great flavors?”
“Hey Lisa, Tom here from the concert last night. I’m still buzzing from the amazing show! Did you manage to get home okay?”
Moreover, try to personalize your text by using inside jokes or shared memories from your interaction. It creates a sense of connection and shows you were truly engaged when you met. For instance:
“Hey Jessica, it’s Chris from the party. I haven’t been able to look at a pineapple the same way since our hilarious debate about whether it belongs on pizza. Hope your weekend is going well!”
Avoiding Common Pitfalls
Don’t start with a generic “Hey” or “What’s up?” These openers are boring and don’t give her much to respond to. They might lead to short, uninspired replies or even no response at all.
Also, avoid using cheesy pickup lines. They might work in movies, but in real life, they often fall flat. For example, skip lines like:
“Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you.”
Instead, focus on genuine, personalized conversation starters that show you’re interested in getting to know her better.
Keeping the Conversation Flowing
Great! You’ve sent that first text, and she’s replied. Now what? To maintain that momentum and build a connection through your texts, you need to keep the conversation engaging and fun.
Ask Open-Ended Questions
Instead of asking yes or no questions, try to ask things that require more than a one-word answer. It gives her a chance to share something about herself and keeps the conversation going. Here are some examples:
- “What’s the most exciting thing that happened to you today?”
- “If you could travel anywhere in the world right now, where would you go and why?”
- “What’s your favorite way to unwind after a long day?”
These questions invite her to share more about herself and her interests, which gives you plenty of material to continue the conversation.
Show Interest in Her Responses
When she shares something, follow up with questions or comments that show you’re genuinely interested. It demonstrates that you’re actively listening and care about what she has to say. For example:
- Her: “I just finished reading this amazing book about space exploration.”
- You: “That sounds fascinating! What was your favorite part about it? I’ve always been intrigued by space myself.”
- Her: “I had a crazy day at work today. One of our clients made a last-minute change to a big project.”
- You: “Wow, that sounds stressful. How did you handle it? I’m impressed you managed to get through such a challenging day.”
Share About Yourself, But Don’t Overdo It
While it’s important to ask questions, don’t turn it into an interrogation. Share bits about yourself, too, because it creates a balanced conversation and gives her a chance to get to know you as well. For instance:
“I’m a big fan of sci-fi movies. Have you seen any good ones lately? I just watched ‘Inception’ again and picked up on so many details I missed the first time!”
“I tried a new recipe for dinner tonight – homemade sushi. It was a bit of a disaster, but at least it tasted good! Do you enjoy cooking?”
Keep in mind that your goal is to have a back-and-forth conversation, not a one-sided interview or monologue.
Finding the Right Tone
It’s easy for messages to be misinterpreted because you can’t rely on facial expressions or tone of voice. Here is how to strike the right balance and convey your personality effectively through text.
Be Positive and Upbeat
Try to keep the conversation light and fun. Use humor if it comes naturally to you, but don’t force it. Avoid complaining or being negative, especially in the early stages of texting. Positive energy is attractive and makes people want to continue engaging with you.
For example, instead of saying: “Ugh, I had such a terrible day at work. Everything went wrong.”
Try something like: “Today was quite the adventure at work! Looking forward to a relaxing evening. How was your day?”
Use Emojis Wisely
Emojis can help convey tone and add a playful element to your texts. But don’t overdo it. One or two per message is usually enough. 😊 They can be particularly useful for conveying emotions that might be hard to express in words alone.
For instance:
“I can’t wait for the weekend! Any fun plans? 🌞🎉”
“That joke you told earlier still has me laughing 😂”
Match Her Energy
Pay attention to how she texts. Does she use a lot of emojis? Is she more formal or casual? Try to match her style to make her feel comfortable. If she’s using lots of exclamation points and emojis, it’s okay to do the same. If her texts are more reserved, you might want to tone down your enthusiasm a bit.
Incorporate Humor Effectively
Using humor can make your texts more engaging and memorable. Share a funny meme that relates to your conversation or a joke about something you both experienced. For example, if you met at a party where the DJ kept playing the same song, you could text:
“I just heard that song from the party on the radio. Now I can’t get it out of my head. Thanks a lot, DJ Repeat! 😂 How’s your day going? Hopefully with a more varied soundtrack!”
Such personalized humor can lighten the mood and keep her interested in the conversation. Just remember to keep it clean and respectful.
With these tips, you’ll be able to establish a tone that’s friendly, engaging, and true to your personality. It will make your texts more enjoyable for both of you and increase the chances of building a genuine connection.
Flirting Through Text
Flirting can be fun, but it’s important to do it respectfully and at the right pace.
Start Subtle
Begin with light, playful comments. The key is to be suggestive without being overtly sexual. Here are some examples:
“I bet you look great in your work uniform. Although, it’d be hard for you to look bad in anything.”
“I can’t stop thinking about your smile from when we met. It’s seriously distracting me from my work!”
“You know, I usually don’t give my number to strangers. You must be pretty special!”
These comments show interest while keeping things light and fun.
Use Compliments Sparingly
When you do compliment her, make it genuine and specific. Instead of generic comments like “You’re hot,” try something more thoughtful:
“I really enjoyed talking to you at the party. You have such an interesting perspective on things.”
“Your enthusiasm for your job is really inspiring. It’s refreshing to meet someone so passionate about what they do.”
While compliments are nice, overdoing them can make you seem insincere or desperate. Keep them genuine, specific, and occasional for maximum impact. A good rule of thumb is to limit yourself to one compliment per conversation.
Know When to Pull Back
If she’s not responding to your flirty messages or seems uncomfortable, dial it back. It’s better to err on the side of caution than to come on too strong. Pay attention to her responses. If she’s reciprocating with flirty messages, you’re on the right track. If her replies are short or she’s changing the subject, it might be time to tone down the flirting.
Use Playful Teasing
Light teasing can be a great way to flirt. Just make sure it’s good-natured and not hurtful. For example:
“I noticed you have a pretty strong opinion on pineapple on pizza. I’m not sure we can be friends if you’re on the wrong side of this extra-important debate! 😉”
“You mentioned you’re a morning person. I’m impressed – and slightly suspicious. Are you even human?”
You can create a fun, lighthearted interaction, but not put her down or make her feel bad.
Dealing with Silence
Sometimes, you might not get a response right away. It’s easy to start overthinking, but try to stay calm:
Give Her Space
She might be busy with work, family, or other commitments. Don’t bombard her with messages if she doesn’t reply immediately. Everyone has different texting habits, and a delay in response doesn’t necessarily mean she’s not interested.
Follow Up Casually
If a day or two has passed without a response, it’s okay to send a casual follow-up. You could say:
“Hey, how’s your week going? I saw this funny meme and thought of you. [Insert meme]”
“I just tried that coffee shop you recommended. You were right, their lattes are amazing! Hope you’re having a good day.”
These messages show you’re still interested without being pushy. They also provide new conversation starters, making it easier for her to respond.
Know When to Move On
If you’ve sent a couple of messages and haven’t heard back, it might be time to step back. There are plenty of other amazing people out there to meet. Don’t take it personally – sometimes, connections just don’t work out, and that’s okay.
Planning the First Date
Great, you reach this step – set up a face-to-face meeting, and it is also the goal of texting.
Build Up to It
Don’t ask her out in the first few texts. Take some time to build a connection first. A good rule of thumb is to have at least a few engaging conversations before suggesting a meet-up.
Be Specific and Direct
When you do ask her out, be confident and direct. Suggest a specific activity and time. For example:
“I’ve really enjoyed our conversations about movies. Would you like to continue this discussion over coffee? There’s a great little café called ‘The Grind’ on Main Street. How about Saturday at 2 PM?”
“Remember that art exhibit you mentioned? It sounds fascinating. I’d love to check it out with you. Are you free this Friday evening around 7?”
Being direct demonstrates confidence and helps avoid becoming just a “text friend.” It also demonstrates your genuine interest in moving the relationship forward.
Have a Backup Plan
If she’s busy at the time you suggest, have an alternative ready. You could say:
“No problem! I understand schedules can be tricky. How about next Tuesday evening instead? Or if you prefer, we could try for next weekend?”
It indicates flexibility and continued interest, which increases the chances of finding a time that works for both of you.
Be Understanding and Respectful
If she’s not ready to meet yet, respect her decision. You could respond with:
“I completely understand. I’m enjoying our conversations and there’s no rush. Let me know when you feel comfortable meeting up.”
Your response shows maturity and respect for her boundaries, which can actually make her more interested in meeting you when she’s ready.
Keep in mind the transition from texting to dating should feel natural and comfortable for both parties.
